Terrible Twos

I think the Terrible Twos have officially begun. Today was the most tiring, most frustrating, most I-wish-my-day-as-a-mom-would-end type day. It's almost 9:00 p.m. and I'm already in tears. And this time is super early for either child to go to bed. Eric is sitting in Mierae's room while she screams and I just sat down at the computer after being with Jolie in the living room while she screamed. Day 2 of potty training is not going well, but maybe that's just my own perception. Mierae sure hasn't wanted to go on the toilet today, but I think she's learning better how to feel when she has to go at least. I got a UTI this weekend, so we had to pick up my prescription for that, after my morning at the eye doctor for irritation from contacts. Mierae has NOT been cooperating very well today. I thought it may have been because we weren't playing with her in the midst of trying to pack for our trip and cleaning up from Day 1 of potty training. But, even though we let her play at the pool in her underwear while we were out for a walk, she didn't cheer up or become any more obedient. The only way we can get her to nap lately is to read her a million stories and then lie down with her and wait for 2 hours for her to calm down. Or, go for a drive. Which is what we did today. So, she even had a nap, and she's still been impossible. I don't know how other moms get through this, but I know I would have been checked into an asylum if Eric weren't around. It's a good thing I'm going home for two weeks while Eric's gone on his field trip.

Well, after a day like today, I also need to try to see how I can be better as a parent. What did I do today that could have hurt Mierae's feelings or been domineering? When could I have backed off a little more or let her make her own choices about something? Did I really pick my battles? When should I have been more patient and less demanding? Did she feel like I loved and understood her today? As I came to the end of my rope tonight, all I could think of was to pray. Pray for a little grace, and also ask what a loving Father would do in my place. Eric told me last week he has started to count to 10 before reacting to something that makes him mad. I need to make sure I'm also taking a deep breath, lowering my voice instead of raising it, saying "I love you" more than "No!" and giving more praise than discipline.

Tonight I'm so thankful to have Eric because his patience holds out thick and strong when mine thins and frays. Thanks, honey, for sticking it out with the kids, even when I'm ready to call it quits and go to bed....

....It's now almost 11:00 p.m. Jolie finally fell asleep a half-hour ago. Eric and I enjoyed our few minutes in a finally quiet apartment sitting in the light of the oven hood and eating the delicious homemade chocolate cake Eric baked earlier tonight. The only sounds we heard were the clinking spoons on Corelle as we ate cake, drank milk, and tried to unwind. It was nice to just take a deep breath, relax with Eric's arm around me, and yet realize it will probably happen all over again tomorrow.