I am a Mom

This week I was a mom.

Well of course I know I'm always a mom. But this week I was really a mom; the do-everything-around-the-house-and-take-care-of-the-kids-all-by-yourself mom. Eric was in Germany for a week, and it was eye-opening all the things he takes care of when he's around. We both worked, we both really missed each other, and we learned a lot this week.

While Eric watched Harry Potter on his transatlantic flight, I heard the same episode of "Wonder Pets" over and over.
While Eric was dining on bratwurst, soft pretzels, fried Camembert and Italian ice, I was eating Mac & Cheese, hot dogs and chicken noodle soup.
While Eric was sleeping in a room with strangers, my girls climbed into bed with me in the middle of the night, so all the kids slept in my room.
While Eric was awakened in the night by drunk 20-somethings, I was awakened by my baby's cry, my daughter's cough, and soft voices calling, "Mom?"
While Eric was touring a centuries-old castle, I was touring the outdoor activities at Jolie's preschool.
While Eric walked along the Neckar River, I was up to my elbows in toilet water cleaning out 7 pairs of dirty underwear.
While Eric was meeting new people, I was visiting with old friends.
While Eric ate dinner with an acquaintance's family, I ate dinner with my sister's family.
While Eric was writing grant proposal outlines, I was writing him emails about the good and bad things about my days.

But while Eric was praying about whether or not moving to Germany would be the best thing for our family, I was praying right along with him.

This week I learned that I can do hard things. I learned that I only get ready when it's the last minute and I can't procrastinate any longer. I learned that I don't spend as much time really being there with my kids as I should. I learned that I miss out on a lot when I'm away teaching. I learned that I really can get along with only 5 hours of sleep (but not for much longer!). I learned that Mierae has a very tender heart, and she is deeply affected when I get angry. I learned that I can let Jolie cry and cry and not have to give in. And, Henrik learned how to shake his head. :)

Here are three excerpts from emails I wrote Eric this week:

"When I went to put Henrik to bed tonight, the girls had to come up too. Mierae came in first, and she asked me if I loved Henrik more than her. :( I was playing with him, away from the girls, and I guess I hadn't spent much time with her and had just been after her to clean up her mess, eat her dinner, leave Jolie alone, etc., etc. Of course I told her no, and she asked if I loved them the same. I told her yes, then gave her a big hug and told her that I used to play with her when she was a baby the same way I was playing with Henrik. Then Jolie came in and Mierae decided to pretend she was a rabbit and kept hopping from the bed to the chair. So, of course, Jolie followed, and they played and played around me until Henrik really needed to go to bed. :) It was a very sweet moment of my day--to be surrounded by all the kids, get hugs, kisses and smiles from all of them, and tell them how much I love them."

"Last night Mierae woke up before I had gone to bed. She called to me from the top of the stairs and when I went to greet her, she asked if she could sleep with me. She said, 'I remembered the other day when you were so nice to me, and I just wanted to be with you.' There's a moment I'll never forget."

"We had a fun time at Tamara's tonight. The girls were both very tired, and Mierae was even acting a little shy and reserved at their house tonight. I wanted to get away around 8:00, but we didn't end up driving away until almost 9:30...(you know how it goes). Mierae wanted to listen to Miley Cyrus' "The Climb" on the way home; she and Sanja had been pretending to be rock stars, singing into an aluminum foil microphone, :) and Sanja had sung that song. We listened to it as we were leaving, and it was just so calm and peaceful with the girls relaxed and drowsy and Henrik content after eating and getting tucked into his car seat. The drive past downtown was so pretty in the dark: all the shining lights and glittery buildings. As I continued listening to the CD, Michael Buble's "Home" came on. It was as if you were singing to me. I had to blink away tears. I looked in the rearview mirror to see if the girls were sleeping, and my heart just swelled as I watched them--both sleeping so sweetly, with their baby brother sitting so calm and quiet. I missed you. But, '[you're] comin' back home.'"