It's dark. I turn over in bed. No Eric. Oh, yeah--I remember: Jolie came in sometime and said, "Daddy, I want to get under the covers." He must be in her bed. I go back to sleep.
Henrik fusses. Is he really hungry, or does he just need to go back to sleep? I didn't put forth the effort to look at the clock the last time he ate, so I have no idea what kind of cry this is. I let him fuss on and off until I can pull myself out of bed to pick him up again. I find myself falling forward as I feed him. Can't. Stay. Awake.
Henrik goes back to sleep. So does Mom.
I hear Eric talking to Jolie. She won't sit on the toilet? She won't eat her breakfast as she watches PBS Kids? It's one of the two. It's always one of them. I open my eyes. A lot of light is peeking through the slats in the blinds. Wow, it really is getting lighter earlier--or the sun actually came out today. I really should get up and help Eric get the girls ready for school. I go back to sleep.
I hear the door close. The faint sound of the van diminishes into nothing. This is when I usually, finally, get up. Henrik has been nursing. I'm sitting up in bed looking at the clutter on my dresser and the bin of fabric I didn't put away the other day. Henrik eats until Eric gets home from taking the kids. Baby goes back to sleep. What can I get done before he wakes up? I chat with Eric and eat a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats for breakfast. Eric checks something on the computer before leaving to catch the bus. The computer is already on, so I may as well check my email. I get on my blog. What's this? An unmoderated comment? It's from Eva at Sycamore Street Press: I won the $75 store credit giveaway! I browse the shop thinking of the things I'd like to order. I get on Facebook to check recent status updates.
I better get in the shower before Henrik wakes up. I see the clutter on my dresser again and clear some of it off. Much better--I can actually see the wood on top. I look in my drawer for clean garments. My favorites are all dirty. Time to do a white wash. I figure I better start the wash before I shower. Wash is in; Henrik wakes up. Is it really time to feed him again? I feed him at the computer. He poops. Hooray! It's been at least two days. Oh, no. Is that poop on his onesie? It gets everywhere: clothes, arms, face, changing table. Time for a bath. He gets rinsed under the tub spout before getting into his baby bath. Henrik loves bathtime. He stares at me and coos as I wash him head to toe. I cuddle him in his froggy towel and dress him in the bathroom where it's warmer. I put his snow suit on and he goes right into his car seat. He's asleep in less than a minute. I have to leave in 10 minutes to pick up Jolie; I don't have time to take a shower anymore! But I stink--didn't shower yesterday. Quick, quick sponge bath. I get dressed. But what about my hair? Put on the newsboy hat Eric got me for Christmas. Perfect! Run out to the van. Drive to Jolie's preschool. Take Henrik out and go inside to pick her up. She wants to borrow another book. I tell her we're going to the library today and can get a new book there. She does not waver. She asks Miss Amy if she can borrow the book. She's allowed to take it, but Miss Amy wants her to bring a library book to share tomorrow. We browse through the book sale table on the way outside. My arm holding the car seat starts to fall asleep. Drive home. Is that a package on the porch? Yes! My Lands' End box is here.
Come inside. Henrik stays asleep in his car seat! Oops--forgot to put the whites in the dryer. Start dryer cycle. Open up Lands' End box and try on clothes. Man, I wish this ruffle-front dress came in misses. (I got the largest kid size, but it's a bit snug.) Go up to Jolie's room. I go through the library books to decide which ones to take back. We inevitably sit down to read one. I get sleepy. Must get up and do something.... Lunch! Yes, it's time for lunch.
I look in the fridge for something to eat. No leftovers; we ate out last night. (Eric missed the bus home so we all had to go pick him up and go straight to Grove City where they ran errands while I taught flute.) What can I eat that's quick? Two banana muffins from the freezer and some grapes. Yep. That's my style.
I get on the computer inbetween bites. Watch a little TLC "What Not To Wear" highlights and some decorating tips: to make a room look more expensive, simply keep it dust free. Glance up at the bookshelves that must be covered in dust even though I'm too short to see the tops. I do not get up and dust. Henrik wakes up. I feed him at the computer as I look around the living room wondering how to rearrange the furniture. Jolie comes downstairs after looking at books in her room. She climbs up on my already occupied lap and asks me to read her a story. She turns the pages while I read. The phone rings. It's Eric! I love getting his afternoon calls. Jolie says hi to Dad before I hang up. Henrik poops again but falls asleep. He goes in his bouncer.
I forgot to get Eric's dress shirts out of the dryer when the cycle finished. Turn on the dryer to fluff up the clothes. Empty the dishwasher. Almost time to pick up Mierae from the bus since Leah is sick and Lisa won't be picking up today. Jolie is playing Nick Jr. She needs help with her Dora game. I get the clothes out of the dryer and hang up Eric's shirts. I pack the diaper bag for a trip to the library right after we pick up Mierae. The clock is ticking. Library books, DVDs, extra diapers and clothes for Henrik, wallet, cell phone, snack. Oh, no; we're late! Get Jolie's coat and shoes on. Grab my coat on. Put Henrik is his car seat. Buckle Jolie; click Henrik's seat in the base. Drive a little too fast out the complex. The bus is already waiting. I hop out to meet Mierae as she crosses the street. She starts running with a smile on her face when she sees me. "Is Jolie in the van? Is Henrik?" I give her a hug as I gush, "We're going to the library to do Valentine crafts!" Her flat, unenthusiastic response: "Again?" I knew she'd rather just go home and veg, but we're all ready to go. Get out granola bars for the girls to eat on the way.
Drive around to find a parking spot as close as possible to the library entrance. Haul Henrik's seat out; unbuckle girls. Glance behind me at the girls' progress every few seconds as we trudge to the entrance. Drop off returns. Jolie pushes the button to open the elevator; Mierae pushes the button to go to the lower level. We start crafting with the heart suckers. The girls then start Valentine cards when Henrik really starts crying. Can they stay put while I change his diaper? Change Henrik. He leaked a little bit. Not enough to change his clothes. Come back. Henrik cries again. I get out the nursing guard and feed him as the girls draw and put stickers on their cards. It's time to clean up but the librarian lets me stay in the room to finish feeding Henrik. Mierae gets Valentine books from the shelf and turns the pages so I can read while Henrik eats. Henrik poops AGAIN, but falls asleep. I'll change him at home. We trudge up the steps and out into the cold to the car. Man, Henrik's car seat is so heavy! Buckle girls, snap Henrik's seat into base. Get home; unbuckle kids, pull Henrik out.
At home Mierae starts labeling her valentines at the table while I start dinner. Henrik stays asleep in his car seat again. Jolie watches Mierae and asks me at least four times if she can eat a sucker before dinner, even though she had one at the library when I asked her not to. Eric walks in the door just after 5:30. Yea, Dad! He slices up a zucchini for me and dinner is ready in about 15 minutes: penne with pesto and steamed cauliflower, carrots and zucchini. Jolie makes a fuss about eating her vegetables. Again. Eric and I love dinner. Mierae is done first and starts talking with Henrik in his bouncer. He brightens up and talks and smiles for her.
Eric gets out the chocolate chip ice cream for his dessert. I sneak a chocolate chip from his cup. Man, these are good! How come no one makes chocolate chip ice cream anymore except Aldi? Mental note to pick more up next time I go there. I take off to pick up milk and eggs at Walgreens on my way to Parent-Teacher conferences at Winterset. Ms. Braida says Mierae is doing wonderful. She is already to the 1st grade reading level. I am so proud of her! Just need to work a little more on her writing: start sentences with capital letters, spaces between words, punctuation at the end. I leave the school and my cell phone rings. Henrik is hungry. Drop off recycling before exiting the parking lot.
Come home. Everyone is still in the kitchen. Jolie is writing right alongside Mierae. "How do you spell Henrik?...How do you do an "n?" I can't believe how well Jolie is writing at 3-years-old. I feed Henrik on the couch while looking at the toys scattered all over the living room floor. In the middle of the living room stacks of DVDs are beds for the Pollys. Did Mierae get the idea from The Princess and the Pea? Zhu Zhu pet snug inside a panda slipper. Little Rajah figurine asleep on a folded sweater with a napkin blanket on top. Mierae is finishing her valentine mailbox. We get out the cookie press butter cookies we made a few days ago from the freezer. Pour milk. Too much milk. Get another cookie. Not enough milk. Pour more milk. Get another cookie. Still too much milk....
Head upstairs to get ready for bed. Walk around the pile of toys. Again. (Just how long has this pile been here? Two days? Three?) Daddy is the tickle monster for girls who don't get their pajamas on. I walk with Henrik while Dad and the girls rough house and laugh. Dad calms them down by starting a Dora book. Potty, treatments, brush teeth. I try to get Henrik to sleep. Eric takes a turn and puts him in his bed. Read a "Friend" story for scriptures. Wait and wait until everyone is ready for prayer. Mierae says the prayer: "Thank you that we could have a nice day..." Jolie prompts Mierae: "Have a nice day tomorrow." Eric prompts Mierae: "What did you do today? What do you want to tell Him?" Mierae ends the prayer. I get a Dora book to read to them and get on the beds (still pushed together since Grandma and Grandpa's visit). Jolie announces, "No, Mommy! Daddy will read!" I leave. Henrik is crying anyway. Start white noise CD again and gently jostle Pack-n-Play to rock him back to sleep. Mierae has books she needs to read to us. Mierae reads the puppy book to me while Eric reads to Jolie. We laugh when she reads about shoes not tasting very good and finding stinky old socks. Jolie wants to read the story too. Both want to read it again. Eric falls asleep on the bed while I read. Henrik cries again. "Be right back, girls." Try to get Henrik to sleep. No go. Get him up. Eric wakes up and turns off the light. The girls make a fuss about not getting their last story, but Eric stays in bed with them until they fall asleep.
It's after 10:00. I feed Henrik at the computer. He's having a hard time again--crying and coming off repeatedly. Eric wakes up and comes down to help with Henrik and read scriptures with me. We read in the New Testament about the woman with the issue of blood who is healed by touching Jesus' clothes as he passes by in the crowd of people. We talk about faith. Eric shares Elder Packer's talk about how the words of a priesthood blessing aren't important; it's the faith of the person wishing to be healed and the actual anointing with consecrated oil. We pray. Eric goes up to bed. Henrik fusses some more. Eric, my angel, comes back down and takes Henrik from me to try to get him to sleep upstairs. Henrik falls asleep, only to wake up a few minutes later. I feel guilty and go up. Get Henrik back to sleep. We listen to the white noise. It sounds like waves crashing on the beach. Eric tells me to imagine we're on a desert island and kisses me....
Eric goes to bed. I get my pajamas on, brush and floss teeth. I come down and finish on the computer. I should do the dishes and clean up, but I rationalize it's too late. Go back up and check on kids. Jolie has of course kicked off her covers. Go into my room. I don't want to go to bed; it just means I'm going to have to wake up in a few hours. Say prayers. Thank Heavenly Father for Eric, my beautiful kids, and the amazing blessings we have. How come everyone else seems to be having so many struggles and yet my life is going so well? Think about what will happen after Eric graduates. No Yale. No Vermont. No UVU. No Pelatonia in Columbus. What about Brazil? What about Smithsonian and PNNL? Is Wittenburg even an option? I climb under the poofy down comforter I love. Eric was so sweet to put it on our bed, even though he gets too hot under it.
I think, and think, before finally letting my mind settle down to fall asleep.
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