Ode to Mother

Even though it seems there are many mothers out there who hate Mother's Day, I hope this will be a day for children to express love for their mothers and appreciation for the sacrifices mothers make on behalf of their children. Thinking about Mother's Day this year made me think about all the things I've learned about life from my Mom. I asked Eric to do the same, and here are our thoughts and memories.

(Eric)

When it comes to giving honor to my mother it is very difficult to say anything without feeling like I am only doing this because it is Mother’s Day. But I really would like to honor her for who she is and what she has become as a mother of 8 children and 25 grandchildren. You must know that my mother, Judy, has never enjoyed Mother’s Day. I am not sure the reason, but I suspect it is because, like all real humans, she grasps with feelings of failure or inadequacy. Yes, those times did come to her, and do and will come to all mothers and fathers. However, should she remember all the times when she stood out as an example of righteous and goodness, she would see just how great of a positive impact she has had on her children.


I remember well the times when as a child I would walk in on her while she was reading her scriptures on her bed by lamplight or on her knees praying. Mom, if you are reading this please know that such a sight will never leave my memory. What an example for a young child!


I also recollect and relish those short moments when as a teenager I would come home way past any normal person’s bedtime and say goodnight to her. She would say goodnight and express to me her love before I went off to bed myself. Maybe it was because she never openly told me what to do, but I never felt like I should rebel as a teenager. She was a person with whom I wanted a stable relationship and not someone I was trying to find independence from. In fact, even when I began attending college, my mom drove me to school each day. (Actually, I drove her in my truck since she worked at BYU and I got to use her parking sticker.) I was never embarrassed by her quirks (if she has any) and I never felt like my mom was totally out of the loop with the current age (even though she just recently became confident with email).

(This photo was taken on Mother's Day last year when Eric's mom was here in Columbus after Jolie was born.)

My mother has always wanted to do the right thing. There were times when I was slow to go to church but she was patient and helped me see the importance of attending our Sabbath day meetings. When I was young she was a working mother who had to rely on plenty of other people to raise my siblings and me. I knew that she missed being a full-time mother when she had a year or so between jobs and simply wanted to spend as much time with her children as possible. That was the year my mom and I saw almost every summer blockbuster! “Your mom is the coolest.” My friends would say. Yes, I totally agree with their statements. She is the coolest. So now that Robyn is my wife and I see first hand what mothers do for their children and their spouse, I am even more grateful for these women and their diligence in helping us along. My mother says often that I raised myself. But I know that this would be a farce since she was always there as a quiet example of goodness. The few times I was mad at her were met with patience on her part rather than anger. Her testimony of the gospel was mostly manifest through her living rather then her speech, but this was as powerful as any words she might have spoken to me. Thank you Mom for being you and leading me on a path toward life’s best goals—family, health, spiritual well-being, and happiness despite troubles.

P.S. My mother is a really great seamstress, quilter, cook, and listener.

(Robyn)

The first thing I always think about when I am reflecting on lessons learned from my mom is faith. I think my grandparents instilled such a strong faith in their children, that my mom couldn't help but automatically instill it in her own children. I am blessed by her example to quickly go to the priesthood in times of sickness or trial. I have been inspired by her pleas in fasting and prayer on behalf of a loved one or when a special need arises. My mom would never even think of not paying tithing and will readily testify to the blessings that come when you pay a full, faithful tithe. I remember my mom telling me about a time when my parents couldn't afford to buy food. One day they were surprised to find a box full of food left on their doorstep anonymously. Also, with my sister's wedding recently, my parents' finances were very tight, and on top of it, the water heater broke a week before the wedding. My mom went to the grocery store a few days later, and when she was ready to pay for her order, the cashier said the man and his son who were in front of her in line paid for her groceries! Even though my parents have never been rich, they have always been taken care of.


From my mother's example, I learned to always have family prayer. Even when the whole family isn't there. Even if there are eight "family prayers" that morning or evening. It is indispensable. Never leave the house without praying. And never go to bed before praying, even if everyone is asleep before the "amen."


Raising eight children is not an easy task. Especially when your husband is working two jobs and going to school for the first eight years of it and seven are born in those years. My mom has always been dedicated to her children. I remember one day in Primary when I was maybe 10 or 11. My mom was the Primary pianist. After we had sung a verse of something, we were supposed to wait before going on, but my mom kept playing until she realized she wasn't supposed to keep playing and abruptly stopped. The kids started laughing. I was so defensive of my mom. I was so hurt that the kids would laugh at her mistake. After Primary I told my mom the kids shouldn't have laughed at her and that it was so mean of them. She responded by saying, "It doesn't matter what people do to me. It only matters if they hurt my kids." When Eric and I got married and greeted the guests who had been with us in the temple, my mom hugged Eric and whispered, "Take care of my gem." My mom has always taught us that children are blessings and should be treasured. And the outcome of her life's work is measured in her children.


There were many afternoons when I would come home from school to fresh-baked cookies or homemade hot chocolate. But, there were other days when my mom would have a meal in the oven for someone who was sick or needed help. And it wasn't just a casserole--she would bake muffins, do a side dish and a dessert, as well as doing a main dish. She is very generous when giving things to others and always shares what she has. And she is always accepting of others. She always reaches out to the one who is alone or different. She taught us that everyone has their idiosyncrasies, and we need to look for the good in everyone. My mom has also always taught us to work hard and do our best. She wanted her sons, as well as daughters, to get college degrees and be well-educated.


My mom always wanted her family to be close. I will always have fond memories of the things we did together: all helping to make Sunday dinners, singing around the piano, late-night scripture study, and family vacations. Thanks, Mom, for the legacy you have left for your children and grandchildren. We love you!

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there!